sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
