I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize