I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
