Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
