Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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