I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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