Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
