I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
too bad you live with your parents still
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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