I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
