I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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