doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
