How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
