seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
