after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize