He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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