a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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