so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
