porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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