So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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