no, he came in my armpit
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize