no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
