hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
