Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
