The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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