I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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