I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
