If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
