She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
