Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
