it's too hot outside to masturbate.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i believe in u and ur pee
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
