bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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