but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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