Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
