Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
