we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
