i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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