Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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