Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
