Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
