Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize
