she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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