At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Fuck me I smell like cheese
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
