we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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