omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
