he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
