when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
