): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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