hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
