We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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