Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
