I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
