oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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