I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
