Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
