Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
