Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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