no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize