omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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