Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
