I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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