Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
